


Cry From Your Right Eye.

by kotabear24



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Military, M/M, PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-28
Updated: 2012-10-28
Packaged: 2017-11-17 05:02:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/547899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kotabear24/pseuds/kotabear24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Harry and Zayn are in the military (or, four times one of them came home from war and one time one of them doesn't make it back).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cry From Your Right Eye.

**Author's Note:**

> For anon on Zarry Fic-A-Thon on LJ!

The first time Zayn came home, Harry wasn’t there. Harry had bed sent to Guam for three weeks, doing simple, peaceful work. Zayn’s Temporary Duty - TDY - hadn’t been bad at all, and Zayn knew that Harry’s wouldn’t be, so he wasn’t all that upset about Harry not being home. It would have been nice, but Harry’s mum, Anne, and Zayn’s best mate, Louis, were there, so Zayn smiled and accepted hugs.

 

The second time Zayn came home, Harry was there. He had arrived home on an earlier flight, and waited around for Zayn’s flight. Harry and Zayn had both been in Qatar, doing simple groundwork. Nothing too dangerous - it was a Yellow Zone in Qatar, now - but they’d been gone for six months, and they never saw each other simply because they weren’t on the same team.

When Zayn walked into the terminal, Harry immediately put down his bag and hugged Zayn. It wasn’t a soppy, tearful, or even all that emotional hug, but it was tight and it made Zayn’s sore muscles hurt and it made Zayn feel warm. Zayn hugged back, clapping Harry’s shoulder in a nice testosterone-filled way, and Harry let go and showed Zayn the way to baggage claim.

Zayn and Harry got the connecting flight home together, Harry paying out of pocket as he’d missed his connecting flight with the rest of his team, and Harry changed out of his uniform so he and Zayn could hold hands discreetly in the window seats.

 

The third time Zayn came home, Harry stayed back to let Zayn’s little nephew, Niall, run up and hug Zayn. Liam, Zayn’s brother-in-law, shook Zayn’s hand and clapped his shoulder, and Harry noticed when it made Zayn wince.

Niall wrapped his legs and arms around Zayn’s strong leg like a koala bear, and Zayn laughed, even though he was clearly exhausted, when his sister Doniya chided Niall for it. Zayn’s mum threw kisses all over Zayn’s face, and Harry kept his distance - it wasn’t often that Zayn got to see his family - until the drive home, when Zayn kissed Harry’s hand in the backseat. Harry curled up next to Zayn. He offered to move away when Zayn flinched every time Harry pressed against a sore spot, but Zayn shook his head and kissed Harry’s face as he pulled the younger lad closer to him. “Missed you,” he whispered into Harry’s jaw. “Love you.”

 

The fourth time Zayn came home, he pretended not to see the tear on Harry’s right cheek. Harry pretended he didn’t feel it.

Zayn had been gone twelve months - the standard for his rank. They didn’t hug at the airport. Zayn and Harry walked quickly towards each other and stopped just before they got too close, and then they just stared at each other, letting their eyes roam the other’s face. Harry looked in Zayn’s eyes last, because he knew what he would see there. Harry remembered the haunted look he saw in his dad’s eyes after every deployment to war. Harry looked at Zayn’s eyes last.

This time, Zayn had lost a lot of weight. Harry had prepared himself to see that, because Zayn had gone to a war-zone. But Zayn had lost probably around 25 pounds, a good sixth of his weight when he left. Zayn’s cheekbones were more prominent - all of his bones were. Somehow, it made Zayn look more like a model and less like a soldier. But his lips were twisted into a half-relieved, half-twisted smile, like he was happy to see Harry, but Harry wasn’t the only thing he was seeing. Harry knew he was seeing the people he’d killed over there. He could see it.

Harry took Zayn home and they kissed and Harry let Zayn fuck him so hard it hurt. Zayn got choked up when he realized he was choking Harry, that he had a knife pressed against Harry’s throat. Harry wasn’t scared, though. He remembered how his dad had that problem - PTSD. He knew that Zayn was in there, under the fear, somewhere, just like his dad had been. But Zayn let a tear fall and he promised Harry he would go to counseling.

The next day, Harry drove Zayn to the chapel on the post. Zayn sat in the front pew alone, praying his way, and Harry sat in the back, praying his way. Harry prayed for Zayn, prayed for Zayn to not have to go back, prayed for Zayn to get over this bout of PTSD.

His prayers didn’t pan out.

 

The fifth time Zayn came home, Harry was in a black suit, blacked-out sunglasses on. Harry’s mum and Louis stood on his right, both also in black, and Zayn’s parents, sisters, brother-in-law, and nephew stood on his left. Harry had been allowed the day off work, as his supervisor had somehow known Harry and Zayn were engaged.

  
Patricia’s hand brushed against his as the Honorary Guards brought down Zayn’s casket from the C-17. A flag was spread out gently over its top, and when the men set the casket down, the flag rippled in the barely-there breeze.

Zayn’s therapist has released Zayn, saying he was cured of PTSD. After the first attack, Zayn had lost it and ran straight into the gunfire and gotten killed. Zayn’s therapist was now under the watchful eye of the government for the release.

Harry turned his palm out to grasp Zayn’s mum’s hand, and clenched his jaw when she held their joined hands up to her cheek and started crying in earnest. Tears welled up and spilled over, and when the Guards started folding up the flag to give it to Patricia, Harry let go and stood. He left quietly, and not even Louis followed him.

 

The next time Harry came home, he smiled (sadly, the back of his mind told him) at the people to greet him. Safaa and Niall both ran up and hugged his waist, and then Louis found himself unable to wait any longer, either. Waliyha, Doniya, and Liam waited until Harry was closer; the girls kissed Harry’s cheek and Liam gave him a one-armed hug. Patricia and Yasir hugged Harry tight, both of them kissing his cheeks, and Anne waited at the end of the line with the necklace Harry has asked her to keep for him while he was away.

A gold little cross, with a round pendant in front of it, which Zayn had engraved: _Cry from your right eye for me_.


End file.
